Minding the Gap
By Anna Debenham, May 2021
The underground train system in London (the Tube) is filled with old rail lines that date back hundreds of years. In more recent times, the old trains have been replaced by newer models that aren’t as big and clunky, which often creates a bigger gap between the train and the platform. There are big painted signs on the floor saying, “Mind the Gap.” The conductor often calls out over the loudspeaker for people to step over the gap between the platform and the train since you can fall down it! (See the photo above)
It’s a term I have come to affectionately use with folks transitioning from prison back into their communities. After years of observation and working with a diversity of people, I have noticed a couple things:
We often struggle with the old familiar life and carving out a new healthier one.
It’s impossible to straddle two worlds. The old one being the world that maybe wasn’t that healthy and often led people into prison. The new one being a world of good intentions and positivity - some may call it the square life. But it is one where everything (or most things...) are legal, above board, and heart in the right place.
I see some people who have gotten out of prison trying to have one foot in both worlds, straddling the old and the new. They think that they have got it. There’s an air of, “Don’t worry, I now know how life works and I know what I’m doing. It’s all under control.” Until it’s not.
Straddling that gap might seem fun for a while, and possibly even easier with this understanding because there is more flexibility of mind. But it can also lure people back into the life that led them into prison in the first place. You end up falling down the gap and it hurts, often you and others.
The struggle is real. We all know life isn’t always easy, “it’s a ‘contact sport,” as one of my teachers used to say. And what I hear and see is, transitioning can often feel harder than prison. It can feel like freedom, but then you have your parole officer, all the groups, the meetings, the appointments to get critical services and an ID, and finding a job. Plus, sorting out housing, family dynamics, old acquaintances and all the expectations that come with that ... and god knows what else. It can feel like a lot.
So quite understandably, transitioning back to life outside of prison can feel overwhelming and hard to handle at times. We know that walking the straight line will lead to positive outcomes and ultimately a better life. But one really hard day (or a series of hard days) or one single ‘fuck it’ moment can lead us back to something familiar, an easy way to make money or to find relief from a feeling that seems too hard to bear in the moment.
As a colleague of mine, Andrew, said, “The decision to do something different is the easy part. The big challenge is stepping over the gap and managing the separation from the known and "safety" of those you've been around, to a world that has limitless possibility on one hand, and far less certainty on the other.”
What I know for certain is, changing one's life is possible. No matter what life someone’s lived before, or even what we ‘think' we’re capable of, isn’t a barrier to a different, more positive future with healthy relationships. That’s the best part of this job - seeing people wake up and create lives to their full potential. We know that if you're ready to cross the divide, it’s possible. You’ve just got to Mind the Gap.
