Insights from Prison: Where the Rubber Meets the Road
Posted by Anna Debenham, July 10, 2018
I love telling stories of how much transformation I see with the guys I get to work with in prison. But then when they get back out into the community, sometimes after many years, I really see how much our program impacts their lives going forward. It’s where the rubber meets the road. I get to be blown away all over again…
One of my students CD, mid 40’s, has spent 21 years of his life behind bars. Not all at the same time but the prison gates have been a revolving door for him and he assumed that was his life. That he would be in and out of prison forever. He had no idea that taking our program, connecting with who he really is and understanding the mechanics of how the mind works would change the course of his life forever.
His freedom hasn’t been a breeze, as a prominent gang member in Portland he can’t avoid coming into contact with his previous life; his old stomping grounds and all sorts of characters on the streets. But one run in stands out for me and is a great indicator of the rubber meeting the road.
CD had been out 3 months – completed his trans leave (which includes curfews, regular urine tests, compulsory groups, courses etc). And now is the time to switch his Parole officer. His PO had him at low risk and gave him a glowing report. CD was feeling good, and assumed his interview to switch PO’s would go well, but as he entered the room he was confronted by several federal officers with guns, who proceeded to search him and started getting aggressive about wanting him to inform on his gang.
He told them he was out of all that and had been doing really well, but they didn’t seem to care. They wanted information. He was now deemed ‘high risk’ despite all the great things he’d been doing; holding down a great job, graduated programs etc and doing some work for The Insight Alliance. CD noticed himself getting angry and frustrated this was happening. He could also notice the old him would have reacted and played right into their hands – which would have more than likely led to an arrest. This time as he noticed these feelings intensify he stopped himself and took a breath. He knew it would do nothing positive to react to the officers and, as he now understands the source of his feelings were coming from thought and not the situation he could calm down and respond from a more grounded and clear place:
He said, ‘Look, I’m actually doing great and I’m going to continue to do great with or without your help. I’m not running with a gang and I wouldn’t inform on them even if I was. You can either be on my side or make this hard for me. But either way I’m going to get there’.