Insights from Prison: Quick
Posted by Anna Debenham, July 31, 2018
One of my students Quick, is so called because he’s Quick. He talks quick. He’s quick to anger, quick to react, he’s just quick. Let’s just say the name suits, or rather did suit him.… He told me a story today that I want to share because it’s cool and I’m proud of him.
He was in the chow hall, eating lunch and a guy at the next table was staring at him and talking aggressively towards him. He didn’t know the guy but he was big and quite menacing looking. Quick couldn’t really hear what the guy was saying but he knew he was being stared at and so he asked the guy what his problem was. The guy said ‘ there’s only a problem if you’re guilty’. Quick thought, what? Who is this guy? And what the f*@k’s he talking about. The ‘old’ him would have gone straight over and acted quickly and punched him – quickly. This time he didn’t. He knew that wouldn’t help anyone, especially him and the wasn’t about to take any of it personally, because he knows it isn’t.
The guy walked towards him and Quick actually took steps backwards, an unusual move for him. He said that stepping back away from a potential fight would make him look weak to others looking on, but he didn’t care what people thought. He didn’t want to create an unnecessary drama for himself so he responded differently. He told the guy to back away and nothing would happen.
In the next few moments some other guys at the table of the protagonist told Quick that he wasn’t actually talking to him but instead talking to voices in his head. The prison I work in is a mental health prison so there are all sorts of people who behave in different ways, sometimes ways you wouldn’t necessarily expect.
Quick said yesterday in class – “I’m so glad i didn’t react. Really it had nothing to do with me even though he was looking straight at me. The old me would have just punched him and that wouldn’t have gone well. And now I know he has voices in his head, I would have made it worse”. He had empathy for the guy and felt bad for him. And so relieved he had the insight to take a step back and not to blindly react with anger and violence. He also said the other guys at the table were actually impressed with the way he handled the situation. Knowing Quick they assumed he’d respond with violence and aggression. However, he had a new awareness to pause and to see things differently. To not react, but take a breathe and do something different. I told him I was proud of him. He said, I’m proud of me too.