Insights from Prison: NM
Posted by Anna Debenham, June 9th, 2017
With the recent violence in Portland around race and the alt-right demonstrations it’s been really interesting and somewhat enlightening having a guy in one of my prison groups who is a self proclaimed racist and bigot. Like proper…
He’s amazingly honest and open about his prejudices; his homophobia, his racism. It’s matter of fact. Just the way he was raised. He didn’t know there was any other way to think. He assumed his thoughts were just ‘Truth’ with a capital T. The interesting thing is I really like the guy – despite his views and opinions. I can see his innate nature, the innocence in his thinking and desire to see differently. We have all sorts of diversity in the room but his straight forwardness amuses the others rather than offends them. If we were on week 1 I think it would be a very different story but at week 7 everyone can see that his thoughts are just opinions – And everyone can see him changing before their eyes.
His mind is changing and it’s freaking him out a little. I’m not telling him not to have racist or homophobic thoughts. I don’t act as the moral guideline or tell him what to think, I just invite him to see the nature of thought. He’s starting to see his thoughts aren’t ‘Truth’ – it’s just opinion – it’s what he was taught, and till now he hasn’t questioned it. A couple week ago he said it’s been the strangest week. He was watching (Fox) news with the people he hangs out with and he didn’t like what Trump was saying and he didn’t like what his friends were saying. This is unusual for him. He started to get anxious as he noticed he no longer agreed with them. His mind was opening up and he was seeing more, and the world was starting to look different. He was in tears. He said he doesn’t want to be racist and hate everyone and everything that isn’t him. And he’s seeing that hating isn’t required to be him.
Last week when I was in a different class I saw him walking up the stairs laughing with a black guy. A new experience for him as it turns out. He just looks and feels so much lighter. This week he said, “I’m actually having fun for the first time in his life. Everything’s always been so serious, I’ve always had an agenda but this week I just enjoyed myself.”
Imagine the freedom we can all feel if we were to hold our ‘truths’ a little more lightly, when we can see that our thoughts and beliefs as just energy taking form.