Insights from Prison: KN
Posted by Anna Debenham, January 22, 2018
I see a lot of pretty amazing transformations with guys in prison and I wonder if I should share more about what I witness.. But then I carry on and forget to post. And occasionally, seems like very occasionally nowadays, I have a moment, like now on Sunday morning when i’m moved to share a pretty cool transformation story:
KN started as one of the trouble makers.. Never shutting up, always wanting to poke holes in what I share, arguing with most of it. Week 3 he wouldn’t quit talking about meth and how amazing it is, and why learn this when he can take meth? I mean why indeed..?! That just riles the others who struggle with addictions into thinking about meth and I’m sitting there thinking – and how did we get here?
KN is a gang leader and liked how much he could intimidate people. In our last ten week program we had two opposing gang leaders who hated each other and could hardly stand being in the same room, And kudos to them, they stuck at it.
Fast forward to the end of the 10 week program. And now KN has become a peer mentor in our new program. He said last week; “you and you’re f@**ing stick figures! I used to try so hard to find holes in what you were saying, but I couldn’t find any, well none big enough for me to get through anyway. This shit works”.
He’s become relaxed, engaged and he and the opposing gang leader have become firm friends. With a new understanding of the mind they realise they have more in common with each other than they thought. And I love his response to his current situation. I didn’t know this about Oregon prisons; KN’s sentence is finished but the DOC won’t release him as he has nowhere to go. He’s applied to four ‘clean and sober’ houses, but he’s been declined four times because people in the houses know him and are scared of him and refuse to have him in their house.
And KN is taking it in his stride. He understands who he was and why people wouldn’t want him around and he’s being patient, basically waiting in prison, until he finds a place to live. He’s not over reacting, he’s not blaming anyone else and he has a sense of humor about it. And most importantly he knows that he’s OK no matter what. He’s inspiring to others and to me.
“ I knew I was a good, nice guy at heart, but my way of thinking blocked that guy so when I started taking the class Anna showed me it’s ok to be that guy and not the guy I was”. KN